steel
Stories so you feel you're not alone. Even when you are
2025-03-31
Raw. Powerful. Brutally honest. Not for the faint of heart, these short depictions don't sugar-coat the struggles and pain of mental health.
But they will let you know you're not the only one. And, sometimes, staring down the problems – in all their ugly reality – can be the first step in overcoming them.
The truth hurts. But it can also set you free.
Price
Digital Edition
$14.99 CAD
Purchase includes two formats: an e-book and a mobile-friendly PDF.
An e-book is an ePub – "electronic publication" – file. This is the industry standard file format for e-books.
An ePub file will open in any app which can render it. The Books app on any Apple device will render it, for example. For Windows and Android operating systems, you may have to install an e-book reader.
A PDF file will open on any device that can render it. Any Apple device will render it, for example. For Windows and Android operating systems, you may have to download and install the free Adobe Acrobat Reader available from Adobe.
The STEEL mobile-friendly PDF format features colour, large font sizes and ample line spacing. It makes for an easy and pleasurable read. It also contains accessibility features.
Print Edition
$19.99 CAD + shipping
The print editions of STEEL are handcrafted, individually made and individually bound. As paperbacks, they measure 5.83" in width by 8.27" in height (i.e., an A5 page size).
The print editions of STEEL are artisan works which will be treasured for generations.
At this time, Print Editions of Boulder Lane books are only available to residents of Canada.
What is the Process for Purchase?
Digital Editions and Print Editions must be purchased separately.
Digital Edition
To purchase the Digital Edition of STEEL:
- Customers are to click either the Buy Now or Add to Cart buttons below. They will be taken to PayPal's web site where they may make payment. Payment may be made using either a PayPal account, Apple Pay, Google Pay, or a credit card;
- If the customer pays by credit card, PayPal will require the customer to enter their address and telephone number. This is to ensure the details the customer enters with PayPal match those of which the customer's credit card issuer has on file for that customer;
- Canadian residents will have 5% Goods and Services Tax (GST) added to the total of their order. (At this time, there is no provincial or territorial sales tax on books or e-books anywhere in Canada);
- Once payment has been accepted, customers will receive:
- A receipt from PayPal to the e-mail address they entered when they completed the payment form; and
- An e-mail message from FetchApp containing:
- The links to download the ePub and mobile-friendly PDF files; and
- Boulder Lane's HST number;
- FetchApp is a digital download service provider which has been in business since 2007. It is located in Tennessee, U.S.A;
- Customers will be redirected back to Boulder Lane's home page; and
- Customers will then receive an e-mail message from Boulder Lane which will contain a link to download their receipt from Boulder Lane, as a mobile-friendly PDF, from Boulder Lane's Proton Drive account.
Proton is a not-for-profit organization founded by a group of software engineers in 2014 concerned with privacy. Proton is located in Switzerland, which has some of the strictest privacy laws in the world. Proton offers a suite of services – such as Proton Mail, Proton Drive (cloud storage and docs), Proton Pass (a password generator and storage system) – and others. Proton provides both free and premium versions of its suite of services to anyone, anywhere. All that is necessary is to come up with a user name which has not been taken (and a password, of course).
Print Edition
To purchase the Print Edition of STEEL:
- Customers are to indicate the number of copies desired in the PayPal order form following (scroll down);
- Customers are to enter Yes in the box under the question, "Are you a resident of Canada?"
- Customers are to click the Add to Cart button;
- Customers are to click the Add to Cart button for the Shipping. There is a flat rate shipping charge of $4.29 CAD + GST for every three (3) Print Edition books ordered;
- Customers will see the Cart icon below the Shipping form increase to (2);
- Customers may either continue browsing the Boulder Lane web site or click the Cart button to be taken to PayPal;
- Payment may be made using either a PayPal account, Apple Pay, Google Pay, or a credit card;
- If the customer pays by credit card, PayPal will require the customer to enter their address and telephone number. This is to ensure the details the customer enters with PayPal match those of which the customer's credit card issuer has on file for that customer;
- Customers are to indicate their complete shipping address in the appropriate boxes, unless their shipping address is the same as their billing address;
- 5% Goods and Services Tax (GST) will be added to the total of their order. (At this time, there is no provincial or territorial sales tax on books or e-books anywhere in Canada);
- Customers are to complete their payment;
- Customers will be redirected back to this page following completion of their payment;
- Boulder Lane will be notified by PayPal that the customer has made payment;
- Boulder Lane will generate a receipt for the customer and e-mail a link to the customer to download it from Boulder Lane's Proton Drive account. The receipt will contain Boulder Lane's HST number; and
- Boulder Lane will prepare and ship the customer's Print Edition order. Shipping will be through Canada Post using lettermail delivery.
Boulder Lane's Refund Policy
All sales final. No returns, no exchanges.
Privacy and Other Policies
Boulder Lane encourages its customers to review Boulder Lane's Privacy and Other Policies.
Anything else?
Should you have any questions or concerns please contact info@boulderlane.me.
Thank you!
Excerpts
Home
"Where's home?" she asked, as the song finished playing.
"I've never had a home," he replied.
"How could you have never had a home?" she continued.
"I don't know … I've never lived anywhere longer than a few years," he explained.
"I don't know what 'home' means," he stated.
She looked at him intensely. He turned to meet her stare.
She continued to stare at him and then just smiled, as if to say, "I don't understand but it's OK."
He smiled back.
Then he played the song again. Because he could.
He looked at the photo. It pulled on his heartstrings.
It was of a small gang of friends at a bar. His arms were around his girlfriend at the time. He had a huge smile on his face and he looked happy as he half-faced her in the photo.
She looked just as happy as he did as she stared into the camera. The whole gang looked happy, actually, as it stopped for a moment during its good time for the photo to be snapped.
A tableau of something that was very good, he thought. Something very special.
He replaced the photo in the old box. That box was one of only a few things he had managed to hold onto, to keep, to not lose during his many bouts of homelessness.
He had managed to scan most of the old photos the box contained at this point, bit by bit over the years. They were precious to him because they were really all he had: a past. One that had often been happy, actually, in spite of it also having often been impossibly difficult.
He quickly realized that although he had a past, he had no future.
I don't even have a present! he thought.
It wasn't the first time. He had gotten through these times before, and he told himself he would get through this one, too, just as he always had. Somehow.
He tucked the four box-top panels together, lifted the box gently – for it had become old and worn, from both time and humidity – carried it to the closet and put it down, back in its special place.
Because the box itself was special. It had survived. And I will, too, he told himself as he left it there, safe.
He walked away to continue … trying.
Deep Snow
His rubber boots were on and he was eager to begin his outing. He had recently bought them at the second-hand store in the nearby town, and they were certainly good enough.
Sometimes, good things do happen, he told himself as he locked his apartment door.
He crossed the busy county road carefully and – at once – he was in the deep snow.
Like a moose! he thought as he lifted each leg up high to rise above the surface of the snow before he put it down in front of him. To sink down again just as deep.
It was quite the bit of exercise and – with the fresh air and sunshine – it was why he did this. To feel better. To feel good, actually.
It took a bit of effort but the good feeling was worth it.
That's why they have such long legs! he remarked to himself.
The moose!
To get through deep snow!
He trudged along, feeling free.
The soft wind caressed his cheeks. The sun – so low in the sky this time of year and no threat – looked down on his tracks from far away.
The light shining on you left the sun a long time ago, he realized as he walked toward the woods.
He knew about the speed of light and the vast distances it travelled as it crossed the universe from his many years in university.
Not that all that education did me much good, he told himself as he began to breathe heavily.
It had been long ago, too – like the light – and he didn't think about it, anymore.
As he walked further away from the road and towards the woods, he could hear the silence. That's because it had recently snowed and the newly-fallen snow absorbed all the sound.
It was one of the things about his country of which almost no one outside it was aware: The crystal-clear, mind-numbing silence of winter walks in fresh snow.
"You can't buy this kind of thing in the city!" he screamed out to no one there.
That's OK. No one heard him. Not even the moose.
